New LA Play Mustang Sally Underlines Crippling Effects of Sexual Abuse



Posted: Monday, June 25, 2007

by
True Identity Counseling

"Statutory rape" is the term. It's harsh for a reason. It's a lot more than just "sexual misconduct" or "sexual harassment". If it happens to a minor, it's abuse – it's statutory rape. I have been a professional, licensed therapist for over 20 years in the Los Angeles area, and I can tell you that the effects of this crime on the victim's soul and very identity can be devastating. It forces them to cover themselves with so many layers of protection that they forget (or fail to discover) who they were made to be.

The good news is that there is a road back from this abyss. That's what it feels like to many of them – a black mark on their soul. Each person is unique of course, so they'll try on a myriad of exteriors to disguise how they really feel about themselves. Many become addicted to drugs, booze, perfectionism and even sex. But inside they feel a frightening blackness, almost completely void of self value. And although their victimization might have been 20, 30 or 50 years earlier, they feel a deep and sharp sense of shame as though it was yesterday. My job as a therapist is to help them first admit what happened to them, and to then peel off each successive layer of self protection as they build up their true self.

People have the concept that the damage from statutory rape or molestation is worse on girls than on boys. Not so. Not at all. Boys can be equally devastated by sins committed against their bodies and souls. They wonder why they can't have a true sense of peace, a thankful heart, or healthy relationships. But men are generally less likely to ever admit they are suffering. In fact, they may not even understand the root of their rage or pain. We all know the cliché that men are harder to get to the dentist or doctor because they're supposed to be "tough". Imagine the courage it takes for a man to admit he needs help and to go to counseling!

That's why I'm glad my friend Tish Smiley is producing the play, MUSTANG SALLY, which addresses this important topic. I love theatre in the first place, but I am especially excited when plays deal with important dynamics that need to be exposed. With all the hot news stories about sexual abuse by female teachers with their male students, you'd think these occurrences are a new "trend." This is a misconception. There is no new sin under the sun. Unfortunately, it's been happening for thousands of years.

Most men and women carry the weight of these sins (sins committed against them by others) their entire lives. But they don't need to. There is freedom if they want it. Yes, it's painful, but not as painful as a living the rest of their lives under the heaviness that keeps them confused about who they are. This is not what God wants.

In fact, after seeing a few cases of abuse while I was still in my practicum, I decided to name my practice "True Identity Counseling." I know a lot of people can't afford one-on-one therapy, so, for nearly 15 years, I have led an eight week Christian based course called "Hope and Healing From Abuse" in Van Nuys, California. The course is designed to help the abused see the truth about what has occurred, and to give them the tools to release their burdens.

You might think that because it's a class setting, there's not enough privacy. Quite the opposite. One lady who I counseled individually for several years is now a helper in the Hope and Healing series. She says that in some ways, there is actually more privacy in the class setting, "because they get to sit with themselves and mull the new information over in their mind without feeling any pressure to respond immediately to each point.." Anybody seeing the play, MUSTANG SALLY who has been a victim of abuse, or knows someone who has, please feel free to call True Identity Counseling at 818.907-8783. There is hope and healing! For more about the play, MUSTANG SALLY, opening at the Whitefire Theatre in Sherman Oaks later this year, please visit www.mustangsallytheplay.com or www.myspace.com/mustangsallytheplay .

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Top-level comments on this article: (2 total)
» left by Dmerrin10000 from California 2 years 302 days ago.
I'm surprised no one has commented in nearly two years; it is topical, and it's an issue I would expect people to have feelings about-- the sort that making a comment in a space like this can sometimes cathect and become an opportunity to share wisdom. Notwithstanding that, I'm curious about the prognosis for recovery/healing for people that have been violated in this manner and have carried the wounds for the long periods you described. While I believe that nearly anyone can achieve some measure of growth and healing by committing themselves to the quest of it, and that it's obviously important to have high expectations for the amount of benefit they may be able to acquire, it seems that one of the insidious aspects of nearly any abuse is the way in which it burrows into a person and-- malignant though it is-- becomes a huge part of who the person is, such that some victims may, in the end, make such accomodations for it, such as abandoning dreams, limiting intimacy, or self abuse that after a period of enough time, the person's habits and assumptions become so adapted to what the abuse did to them that it rather literally has become part of who they are-- not in a spiritual sense, but a practical one. Is this true, and if so, what does the course of therapy look like?
» left by Anonymous 2 years 302 days ago.

Hi dmerrin, thanks for the comment.  Many of your thoughts are very insightful. After 20 years as a marriage and family therapist whose specialty is healing from the shame and torment of sexual abuse, I will tell you that the prognosis for people who have been violated and wounded in this way can be very good – even excellent.  I have actually seen amazing healings at both the spiritual and the psychological level…not without effort on the victim's side of course.  But victors will tell you that the effort and diligence they put into their recovery is nothing in light of the freedom they now enjoy.  There are wonderful self talk techniques that can root out some of the deep lies that have burrowed into one's psyche and soul, but the total deliverance comes through the power of God.  I identify with the Christian perspective and incorporate the full power that is available to us through what Jesus did for us on the cross.  I am also in California, so if you know anyone who has wrestled with this horrendous problem, please tell them I have an extremely low cost, eight week seminar that I offer for those who cannot afford long term therapy.  We are just finishing a series now, so the next one won't start until May.  If they are interested, have them call 818.907.8783 – leave their name and address and I'll be sure someone sends them a flyer.   

» left by Anonymous 356 days 4 hours ago.
I witnessed Alyson Andrasik, M.A. deliver an address at the High Impact meeting of the "The Church On The Way" in the San Fernando Valley on April 13, 2005 and I can tell you this. This woman is dumb as a stump and a total homophobe too. Wow, talk about brainless. I would never let me kids listen to a word she had to say. Why do people with so little to share feel the need to share it?
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